Thai girls – full of surprises

Posted by admin on January 15th, 2008 filed in Bangkokians, Culture shock, Living here

When living here, the trouble with trying to find yourself a decent Thai partner here is that most girls fall into one of two categories: either they are easy types that are found everywhere and usually from a working class background and a complete mismatch, or they are well educated shy professional girls who you never see out.

 

Thailand is full of wonderful people. Regular people like you an me that went to university and have good jobs and come from good homes and are financially independent and looking for a nice guy (or girl) who is going to be romantic and interesting and treat them like a lady and have more to offer than a full wallet (which back where he came from would be an empty wallet!). It’s the same as anywhere really, Bangkok is full of these sorts of people, and if you are a guy hoping to meet such as girl there are loads out there – the thousands that those posh hair and skin care products are aimed at on TV. 

 

But where ARE they really? You might see them on the skytrain or shopping but how do you actually meet them? If you are here for a few weeks, doing the tourist areas then forget it – all you’ll meet are br girls and simple working class girls who are quite sweet but not really on your level and certainly interested in you from a financial perspective. Sure they find you genuinely handsome and they can be fun and lovely, but their judgement is clouded by their need to be taken care of by someone well off. They will put up with all sorts of mismatches to make it work. Guide to living in Bangkok. 

 

So, back to the professional working girls; the sales and marketing execs, the PR girls and accountants, the media types and teachers and lecturers, service agents and so on. They are all so well presented, speak good English, are professional at work, well behaved with good breeding and… single. They are smart and mature but looking. They don’t rush into anything because doing so would make them look like bar girls, but believe me, underneath it all they are dying to fall deeply in love.

 

I’ve seen it often. I’ve met girls who are all professional and guarded and befriend you on a professional level (usually ‘can you help me with my English presentation’ it isn’t a ruse, they simply want a farang friend but don’t want to be too forward). Often they’ll even throw you off the trail by matter-of-factly stating they aren’t interested in romance. But it doesn’t take long for them to get to know you and like you. 

 

There’s just one catch. Apart from the patience to create a social and work environment where you get to meet these sorts of girls, they tend to be shy and give you a painstakingly slow courting game. Expect to date them for months with her friend coming along, and sitting there making small talk. You’ll be expected to take them for endless meals (which they will always insist on paying half) and uncountable phone calls and sms’s, before you even get them into a situation private enough for a kiss they might act with surprise. Meeting Thai girls. 

 

This once happened to me with a very cute but shy girl I met at a club/bar in Bangkok. I was actually eyeing here rather capricious and flirtatious friend who did a typical Thai girl thing and set me up with her friend Aom. Her friend was unfortunately with another guy, but Aom was intelligent, mature and chatty. She’d been to uni abroad and like to party but was from a conservative background and a modern Moslem. So we started dating, but she really tested my patience and took liberty with my time. She was a pretty low key girl, but fun to be with, confident and certainly interested. Yet, no matter how I tried I just couldn’t get further than simply hanging out. 

 

Three months went by, she pissed me off a few times – took liberties with my time and then suddenly invited me to go away to Hua Hin for the weekend. In typical fashion it was well into the afternoon before had finished mucking about and finally on our way – with a handful of her best friends in tow. To cut a long story short I spent the evening sitting with a group of immature Thais surrouded by a spread of food and constantly calling up their mates back in Bangkok to update them on all the gossip and fun they were having. No one spoke a word of English, my Thai wasn’t very strong and there were no couples. I was bored to tears.

 

Eventually it was bed time – were in the same room with twin beds. I’d had enough and tried to give her a kiss. No reaction. She smiled and seemed to be pleased but really didn’t know what to do next so she put the light out and got into the other bed and went to sleep. The following day, after she had been driving at 100kph down a busy highway recklessly for 45 minutes and all while on the phone I decided I’d had enough and dumped her.

 

I moved to Chiang Mai and we lost touch. Six months later I was in Bangkok for the weekend and wanted someone to come with me to the Ministry of Sounds so sms’d her on the off chance. She called me immediately, sounding pleased and promised to come over the next day to my hotel. She arrived at noon unexpectedly and gave me a big hug. We went shopping together and hung out all afternoon, her acting completely in love. She was a changed woman. The bad habits were curtailed; she made a point of hanging on my arm, trying to hold my hand, buying me things like clothes. 

 

Back at my hotel room we had plenty of time to kill before heading for the club so we lay there watching TV, she said she missed me, she cuddled up to me, next thing we were smooching and before long at it in bed! I couldn’t believe it. I no longer felt much for her but with the background, her sudden change of heart was such a turn on.

 

Well, off we went to the club and the next morning I had to make my excuses because I had to meet friends for lunch and couldn’t bring her. But she lay there in bed in the morning with a massive grin of post-coital satisfaction and said ‘hmmm you’re my boyfriend now’.  

 

Ooops? What! Double check! I hate doing this. I hand no intention of getting together with her, now that I was living in Chiang Mai, and should’ve known this was coming. She said she was even planning to come up to Chiang Mai the following weekend (a pre-planned trip apparently). Sure enough the phone rang the following week, she was at the station waiting for me and had come to stay the whole weekend. 

 

Disaster! I was just getting things going with another nice local girl I had me a few weeks earlier. What a risk. Well, I broke the news to her that day and there were plenty of tears, but I made a big effort to entertain her discreetly taking her to romantic out of town spots so that we weren’t spotted and making the effort to give her an enjoyable weekend in CM. Despite the bad news it didn’t stop her wanting more action and I suddenly had a horny Elvira that had been let out of her conservative family straight jacket back in Bangkok. I couldn’t stop the poor girl from wanting to shag!

 

Aaah! What can a man do. On the one hand you’ve go this girl, who knows the score, throwing herself at you, and on the other you realise you shouldn’t be letting her hurt herself anymore. Eventually I despatched her back to Bangkok and never heard from her again. 

 

Chiang Mai scene